Saturday, February 18, 2006

I Think I May Have Come Up With A Solution

I have mentioned before that Thursday night is "girls' night out" and that I have a great time when we get together. This past Thursday was no exception. We had quite a few laughs about things in general and the men (husbands and sons) in our lives. I won't go into details about all that we discussed, but I do want to highlight one topic because I think I have figured out a solution to a neverending battle between the sexes.

No, I am not referring to whether or not the toilet seat is up or down. If you have ever had brothers, a husband, a father, or had to enter a public restroom used by men, you may understand. Why is it that men cannot seem to avoid getting pee on the bathroom floor and/or dripping down the sides of the toilets they use?

It's not like the target is too small. Inventors have even attempted to make the target easier to see...

They have also tried to appeal to mens' interests and egos...

After contemplating this mystery, I have narrowed the issue down to one key psychological factor that if addressed properly could revolutionize men's toilet performance. This factor is summed up in the word competition.

Yes, men seem to love competition...

In fact, it seems to be one of the reasons that the areas around urinals in public restrooms get so bad... men are so interested in checking out each others' equipment to establish their place in the pecking order that they tend miss the intended target.

Just think about it... this competitive nature plays a role in many of the activities that men enjoy. For instance, men that play golf concentrate very hard on getting that ball in to a hole that is much smaller that a toilet...

And what about pool? Men are quite earnest about sinking the proper ball in one of those relatively small openings in the pool table!

Aiming for a target is also important in games that men enjoy like darts and tennis. In tennis, not only does the ball need to connect to the center of the web of strings on the racquet, but also to the desired point on the opponents side of the court.

And what man doesn't occasionally participate in garbage pail basketball? Yes, men like the idea of showing how they can hit the target.

Now the question that came to my mind was how can this competitive nature of men and the whole target idea be utilized to improve men's toilet manners?

Simply putting a target in the toilet bowl would probably not be enough to energize that competitive nature. No. What we need is a toilet that not only has some sort of a target, but we also need this toilet to keep score! Yes! Some sort of flashing scoreboard. You know, one that will keep each male's best score so that he can keep trying to better that score and also keep the scores of each male that uses the toilet so that the best scoring male can be readily ascertained. You might need to include a reset button just in case they want to add someone to the competition... like a visiting male relative on vacation.

Just think how proud the best scorer will be! You may never need to worry about pee on the floor again!

Yup. I got this all figured out. Anybody you know working on a patent?


Cliff Morrow said...

I've checked your blog several times today. Now it's 11:30 at night and I check one last time. And for what? To be chastised by about my inability to hit the middle of a toilet. That's why they made the thing out of porcelain. I thought you were to use the whole thing.
Did you girls talk about this while you were in the restroom together?
I'm okay. Don't worry about my feelings.
See you later. I guess I'd better go scrub the floor.

Rhodent said...

I hope you didn't miss the puppy pictures! Maybe you can check back when you are done scrubbing the floor.

Cliff Morrow said...

I'm done scrubbing the floor around the toilet and came back. Yes I saw the puppy pics. I was wondering why that poor little girl has to wear the eye patch?

Carol (Smiles and Laughter) said...

Rhodent, you better get a patent before some else steals the idea! I'm sure something this genious couldn't have been conjured up before. lol. :)

Rhodent said...

It was all I could do to hold her still, keep her from licking my face, and get her to look at the camera!

I am sure that the combined talents of my two sons (one is a mechanical engineer and the other is a computer engineer) could come up with this and secure the patent... but somehow I doubt that they have the same enthusiasm for this project as I do!

Rachel said...

Good luck on this one! I think men will forever be peeing where they shouldn't. Young ones think it's okay to pee all around the rim and on the floor. I think the older ones think they are finished when in fact there is still some dribbling to be finished and they dribble on the floor/rim and/or their pants. I think some don't pay attention and have their mind on something else so they may be staring at the ceiling while the pee stream is hitting the wall/rim/floor. I think we need a hidden camera in there so we can see exactly what the problem is! Then the film can be taken to the offender and they can correct the problem!

Geesh, enough of this subject! Good luck again on getting that accomplished.

GEL said...

ROFL!! Right "on target" w/ this post. (I'd never seen toilets shaped liked those...)

While you're at it, is there some competition going on with the way men leave the sink drowning in water all over the corresponding couunter, so if you lean against it, you look like you've leaked milk onto your blouse or peed onto your clothes......!!!! I bet you could invent something for that!

Alisa said...

You've hit the nail on the head! Competition would be key on this. Rewarding positive behavior ... etc.

Rurality said...

Oh that so reminds me of that movie... I can't remember the name! With Jack Nicholson. When his wife was alive she'd always made him sit down to pee!

Jim said...

The target idea is kinda like we do it now. Just keep trying to get it right. Same for golf or pool, a lot of first shots just don't get it done.
The same goes for spitting too.

frustratedwriter said...

I contemplated many a witty answer to this blog but having taken the high road, choose instead to be forthright with a solution of my own... let's ban women from our bathrooms so we can miss, dribble, and spot to our heart's content. As for competition, I have enough already and really don't need to compete in the art of urine extraction and expulsion, but thanks for the idea...ha!

Rhodent said...

Well, Mark, I can't deny that I was disappointed at the lack of a witty reply on your part... However, if keeping females out of the bathrooms that men use means that men will have to clean up their own mess, well then... that works for me!

frustratedwriter said...

They want us to improve our aim
To avoid all the splatter and such.
But to make urination a game
Is perhaps a little too much.
So I suggest we be wise in this
Making our bounderies sure
Ignore the fact that we miss
And be glad it isn't manure.

Rhodent said...


ROFL!!!!! Yesiree!