Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Garbage Can Corn

Summer will be here before you know it, and I love summer cookouts. While reading Cliff Morrow's blog about his experience with eating deep fried corn, I was reminded of how we have fixed corn on the cob for large groups in the past.

My husband used to belong to a service organization that used this method of cooking corn at it's barbecues. It was always a hit with that group so we adopted the method for our family/friends gatherings. You can't beat this method for cooking corn for a large group.

You will need the following:
1 medium sized aluminum garbage can with lid (there are several mid-range sizes)
chicken wire
fire source
corn still in husks
melted butter

The chicken wire needs to be rolled or folded and placed in the bottom of the can so that it loosely takes up 8-10 inches in the bottom of the can. It's main use is to keep the corn out of the water, so make sure it provides a good platform for the corn. The can should be placed on some sort of fire source. We use a propane burner on a tripod. It is big enough to securely hold the can. Put water in the bottom of the can to a bit below the chicken wire. When the corn is cooking in the can you do not want it to be in the water... you just want the steam. Put the lid on the can and let the water heat up and steam. It is a good idea to break in your can before its first use. You will see that this first time the can will leak water around the bottom edges. Let it keep steaming until the leaks pretty much stop.

A medium sized can should hold a case or more of corn. Add salt to your water after you have put it in the can to heat. Once the water is salted and heated it is time for you to add your corn and then put the lid back on. It will take a 30 to 45 minutes for the corn to cook, depending on the size of the can and the size and amount of the corn. My husband says that you can smell that the corn is done. You will want to make sure that your water does not entirely steam away, so until you are used to this cooking method you should check your water. Lifting the lid too often is like opening an oven door too often while baking. Just check it near the end if it looks like the steam is slacking off too much. Add a bit of water if needed.

When the corn is done and removed from the can (tongs needed) pull back the husks to the end of the cob but not off. Remove the silk. You can use the husks as a handle to hold the corn and dip it into your melted butter. A good idea for a container for the melted butter is a clean coffee can. Dip the corn into the melted butter and let the excess drip off. Then add salt if you wish, and it is ready to eat. It is very yummy.

We usually serve the corn as a first course while everything else is finishing up... calms the wild beasties, and if needed you can turn the kids loose outside for a bit with their corn. If you have any questions, please leave them in the comments section, and I will answer them there if I can.

Monday, March 28, 2005


I am sorry that I have not finished getting "Garbage Can Corn" posted tonight. I have retyped it about three times and have been unable to save it as a draft or publish it. I am also having problems with comments, so I figure Blogger is spinning it's wheels again tonight. I have managed to save the first part of it, but I will wait until tomorrow to finish retyping the rest of it again. Sigh.

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Lemming Fodder While Waiting For Garbage Can Corn

This will be a short post tonight because it is Easter, and it is the end of a very busy weekend for me. I was going to finish up my post on garbage can corn, but I will save that one until tomorrow.

Today while roaming around with "L," ( she was wearing a fabulous new hat, by the way!) I found out from her that her brother "J" is now posting to his own blog and has been "lurking" around some others! (That means he reads and doesn't leave a comment) Bad, bad, boy.

"J" is actually a Senior Engineer whose usual daily past time might include blowing up jet engines and eating bananas. Now I ask you, given the bananas, wouldn't you think he would have chosen some sort of monkey, chimpanzee, gorilla, or orangutan as his picture for his blog? No. Brilliant "J" decided to choose a pig of all things! A pig! I know he eats a lot to support his 6' 5" frame, but a PIG? Go figure.

I have linked to his blog right below "L"s two blogs. He is Lemming Fodder. Please check out his blog and leave him lots of comments... Comments that require him to answer you. (Don't let me down, now Frally, et al.) We'll teach him to go lurking around blogs!

Happy Easter!

Saturday, March 26, 2005

A Few More I Couldn't Resist

So the fish said made up a new song
Her readers could all sing along
Her shirt wouldn't fit
So she used her fine wit
And stretched it until it was long


Frally's mood is much better today
DS didn't need boobs while away
His memory's short
Nursing's no longer his sport
Though uneven she did get her way


Carmi's surely the expert they say
On wiping bad spiders away
Their fears he allayed
Then led the parade
He flushed, they returned to their play


Just My Junk is new to my links
She reads to those cute little finks
One brat made her mad
His comment was bad
She wonders what his mom really thinks


DB has a wonderful post
It's the one he has done I like most
It's a joke, that is true
But to me it was new
So good, he should actually boast


The Ron Rat is never a bore
His blog is one I adore
Though he's known to be rude
I now must allude
To his stories, I can't wait for more!

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Blogger Limericks

Below are a few limericks about some of the posts recently done by some of the bloggers that I have on my favorite link list. I was just in one of those moods for a little bit of rhyme time. Check out the blogs to see which limerick refers to which post!


Do appreciate the cheese or do not
The UN he has put on the spot
The laptops in view
Show something in lieu
Of the usual diplomat's rot


Cliff Morrow knows how to eat corn
He probably knew how when born
In Denver they blew it
And Cliff wouldn't chew it
How could they treat corn with such scorn?


Poor Frally's a little depressed
DD's ears have now been assessed
When the surgery's done
And the pain's status is none
Frally's mood will then be the best


Stacy was in a great rage
Her hubby she wanted to cage
He called on the phone
When she wasn't alone
Her anger he couldn't assuage


Happy and blue is not fickle
But one day he was found in a pickle
The town could not relish
The idea was too hellish
And the festival made not a nickel!


With the family away before fall
Woody decided to redo the hall
Pudge wouldn't choose
The tile to use
For his naps or for chasing a ball


At her window young Carol's sweet hunk
Asked Carol to forsake her bunk
They took a fun ride
With her friend at her side
And sublet her fine room to a skunk


Rurality has a fun dog
Jasmine's known to have lugged a thin log
On the back of the knees
She smacks, if you please
Her owner's while out for their jog


Two Tooth and Weasel came by
And looked Frustrated right in the eye
"Your blog's full of drivel,
Why are you so civil?
There's so much gone wrong to decry!"


Ralph got up this morning before five
Thoughts of friends began to arrive
He had naught to do
Cliff had bid him adieu
Kitchen tables always let daydreams thrive


A mouse in the house who was wild
Had Marty and kin a bit riled
The trap wouldn't trip
When the mouse took a grip
Of the cheese, and then he just smiled


Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Rhodent Will Be Back With You Very Soon

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I am currently busy with work and a lot of etc., but I will be actively posting again in the next day or so. A few posts have been started, and I should have some new pictures which I will attempt to post. In the meantime, have a blessed Easter! :o)

Friday, March 18, 2005

I No Longer Corner The Market On Miserableness

This has been a strange week. I went into work on Monday, was miserable and ended up staying out of work on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday were vacation days since I have already used up all of my sick days for 2005. I am sooo tired of being sick. If it wasn't the same thing hanging on maybe I wouldn't be so put out. It just doesn't make me very happy to have to use those precious vacation days coughing and sneezing and feeling generally miserable. Then, just so that I would not corner the market on miserableness, my dear husband decided to out-miserable me.

He was considering the fact that he might catch the bug that I have been fighting since the year one. Since he had to be in Gainesville on Wednesday, he decided to go up to Dunnellon early on Tuesday night thereby avoiding further exposure to my current bug, and at the same time, fit in some fishing on the Rainbow River that evening and the next day after working. He would then return to Clearwater on Thursday. This was a good plan because Gainesville is much closer to Dunnellon than it is to Clearwater. Or it should have been a good plan.

The weather around her has been one thing lately...WET. We have had a lot of rain. Florida is damp anyway, but when you add rainy weather for several days non-stop, things like slimy mold and mildew start to grow in the most inconvenient places. Thursday he stepped outside the door of the house he was staying in... it belongs to a friend... and rediscovered why you have to be extra careful on smooth cement or tile after rainy days in Florida. He knew it was there. He had seen it. He had made a mental note that he had to get the pressure cleaner up there to clean off that area. He stepped on the cement and went flying anyway. Both feet went up in the air and his whole 6' 5" frame came slamming down on the slimy cement.

After laying there stunned for a moment or two (probably more), he carefully got up. He was sure he had broken something. His head was reasonably intact, but he was a little bit dizzy. His right arm was scraped up and his neck and back hurt. What hurt the worst though, was his shoulder. He knew he had to be checked out. The closest hospital was 25 minutes away, so of course he got on his cell phone and called Clearwater to set up an appointment with his doctor to be checked out from head to toe. Clearwater, you must know, is 2 hours+ away from Dunnellon. He got his things together that he could, called me on the phone and informed me of what had happened and his plan to drive to Clearwater to see the Doctor.

I think I am a fairly reasonable person. I offered to get him. My youngest daughter was home for Spring Break and the two of us would go up to get him and drive his car back home. But no, Mr Macho was fine to drive for 2+ hours in traffic. Mr Macho just had to make sure he didn't move his body in certain ways. I asked him what he would do if he had to make a sudden move to avoid something in traffic. Mr Macho was sure that would be no problem. He would just hold his broken shoulder in position for 2+ hours and be just fine. I would like to point out that we are still at the height of our tourist season and Spring Breakers are all over the place. Most of the tourists are over 75 and can't see. Most of the Spring Breakers are probably half-looped. Mr Macho, however, could handle them all.

We talked on our cell phones several times as he was driving south. The first time, I got the report that his elbow was going numb. I offered to come get him again. The second time, he was really starting to feel the pain. I offered to come get him again. The third time he was really starting to stiffen up and his lower back was bothering him a bit more. I offered to come get him again.

He did make it home. He went to the doctor and had X-rays taken. The doctor gave him some strong pain medication and decided there were no broken bones. Mr Macho is convinced that there is something really out of place and will probably have an MRI next week. In the meantime he is miserable. He can't fish, kayak, or play golf. That is the ultimate punishment for him. He can however take his pain pills. He tried to do without them at first... as only a Mr Macho would... but then could not take the pain. He is happier with his pain pills... but I can tell you that no amount of pain pills cures the pain of not being able to do his favorite things. He is also a man that cannot sit still for anything. The closest thing to sitting still he gets is sitting in a boat or kayak and fishing. He has to be doing something at all times. If he is not doing something active it is because he is asleep.

Mr Macho is in a miserable state. He is currently trying to find simple things to do with his fishing gear to keep his mind off being inactive. He is planning his next excursion and not focusing on the fact that it might be awhile. If he thinks about that too much, he figures it must be time for another pill and a nap. I suspect he will figure out a way to be back driving again soon... even if he shouldn't be.

Why are so many men like that? Why are so many men just the opposite? Don't they know that there is a middle ground? I know that it will not change. I just keep my opinions to myself, try to be helpful to him, and then let him do what he wants. He will do what he wants, anyway.

He is definitely in pain. He is definitely miserable. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the most intense, he is at level 6 for physical pain (pills help), and he is at level 11 for the mental pain associated with being inactive and knowing that it will be awhile before he will be able to do his favorite things.

Spring will come again.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Cnadles Are Here To Stay

Cnadles was the first one I really noticed. Then it was telelphone followed by utililities or utilties. I guess I have always transposed letters when typing words. And there are words that I consistantly misspell when typing... not because I don't know how to spell them, but because my finger coordination is shot! The thing is that these days, my fingers are not all pointing in the direction they are supposed to be pointing and some of my joints don't move at all. I miss letters entirely or hit the wrong letter or hit the same key with a one-two punch and get a double letter when I only want one.

Arthritis is not a fun thing. I now also have wpords like reat, mab, ir hsve. (translation: words like great, man, or have) Spellcheck is helpful, but then there are words that I mispell correctly... I'm sure you know what I mean. I have had to hone my editorial skills to keep up with my ever-increasing errors. It gets embarassing when I print out a report at work that I cannot edit, or when I leave a comment on someone's blog and skip the previewing option.

Cnadles are candles. One of the things I do at work is to enter the various incomes received during the week. Candle money is usually deposited weekly. At our church, cnadle money is usually deposited weekly. It is sort of a joke now. It is a good thing that I can laugh at myself and a good thing that the Parish Manager and Old Irish Pastor have a good sense of humor!

Old Irish Pastor actually does not approve of the practice of collecting for candles or cnadles. It is a rather archaic custom. Years ago in the Catholic Church people paid for candles to light for their prayer intentions. This money was a significant source of income for the clergy. These days, clergy get salaries, auto allowance, insurance and other benefits. Most of the candle stands are now votive stands with electronic candles because of the hazard that unattended lit candles pose for buildings. The funny thing is that people flock to them the same way. They get upset if their virtual candle does not light!... as if their prayers are no good if the light doesn't light! I am really not trying to make fun of the practice of lighting candles as part of prayer. It is a beautiful symbol. It is just that people seem to get caught up in the candle part instead of the prayer part...

At any rate, it seems that cnadles and candles are here to stay... whether in my writing or in church... at least for my lifetime.

Coming Soon: Cnadles

I am STILL sick with this wonderful imported bug! It is now getting worse instead of better. I am VERY tired of being sick... not only does it interfere with my going to work in a coherent fashion, it also blocks me from my more creative inspirations. Today I am taking a vacation day because I am out of sick days already for this year! I really need to get better soon... end of the quarter is coming up fast and it is budget time once again. If my head didn't already hurt, it would be hurting already!

I have started a post that I will try to finish tonight. Right now I am going to take another nap to see if I wake up any better... mentally or physically. Ugh!

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Bloggers Do Have Power

I recommend that you go to http://maddox.xmission.com/ and read the post about Orbitz dated 3/9/05.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Florida Bugs To Fear

Probably the two most common thought of nasty bugs that reside in Florida are the Cockroach and the mosquito. We have several varieties of roaches including German cockroaches with I am sure was imported from up north somewhere by some yankee who wanted to share the wealth. Roaches of any sort are yucky to be sure. Even after living most of my life here in Florida (I am a transplant from New Jersey... yes I am really a yankee by birth) roaches give me the creeps!

Mosquitos are another pest which, although common across the country, just love the wet Florida climate... year round breeding season some years. Now, as mosquitos go, they are not that big. I know this because I have seen monster mosquitos in Minnesota. Minnesota mosquitos are huge, but they are also very slow. You actually have time to swat them before they bite you. Florida mosquitos are quick on the draw and carry all sorts of dangerous diseases... and the types of diseases that they carry seem to be on the increase. In Florida you absolutely need insect repellent as a life-saving precaution.

Northerners may not be aware of what we call Palmetto bugs. This sounds harmless enough, but don't be fooled! They are like HUGE roaches that fly! I know this because I have been foolish enough to be around when someone was trimming old palm trees... something I will never do again. When palm trees get the old palm fronds trimmed off the trunk, you are likely to see hundreds or thousands of pieces of debris flying off the tree. This debris is not really part of the plant. It is tons of palmetto bugs flying away to safety! I have personally witnessed thousands... once was enough!

If you live in Florida you have roaches. It doesn't matter how clean you are. It goes with the territory. You can do things that will help to keep them under control, but they are still there lurking. They are just waiting for the chance to sneak into your home and walk across your face in the middle of the night. We do have a bugman that sprays once a month... that helps. He also sprays outside of the house and that helps too. However, when it rains hard (it always rains hard in Central Florida!) and there are puddles in the yard... well, the roaches get together and the Palmetto bugs get together and organize a parade to the nearest opening they can find! Sliding glass doors are a favorite point of entry. And a few days later we have a whole new crop of freshly hatched mosquitos! So you're not safe inside or out. Ugh.

Florida is also one of those states that host ticks. Yes, Minnesota, we too have wood ticks that carry disease! Actually Florida is one of the states that has higher incidence of Lyme Disease. Maybe "tickgirl" who sometimes leaves comments on my blog will confirm this. She is a biologist who is currently being employed to investigate the types of ticks found on animals in Florida. They are looking for the spread of a particular type of tick that, thankfully, has not appeared in Florida, yet.

Now it is time to mention the Brown Recluse Spider. Yes we have them. They are nasty dangerous things... and they like to hide ( you might have guessed that from their name). You don't want to look at pictures of those spider bites. I have, and I have seen enough. Not only do I check my mailbox for roaches when I get my mail, I also check for spiders. We have other types of spiders that bite, but the Brown Rescue Spider is at the top of my list of Spiders to avoid at all costs.

The Mediterranean Fruit Fly sends shivers up the spine of citrus growers in Florida because of having their fruit quarantined several times in recent years when the flies have been discovered. Personally I am not fearful of them, but I thought I should mention them because of Florida's citrus industry. Maybe if you are from California you will understand.

But now I need to talk about the most feared bugs of all. Hundreds of people die each year (mostly the elderly) from these bugs. They annually begin to appear in the fall. By October they are getting into full swing. The bugs generally get very bad at the height of the tourist season. If you are at all astute, by now you have probably figured out that I am referring to Flu Bugs and other similar viruses that are brought here each year by the snow birds (tourists and winter residents).

I am sure that we have our own variety of viruses each year, but the tourists like to insure that we get a sampling from all over the country. They like to bring with them the most virulent forms of the Flu Bugs. If you think I am exaggerating, let me tell you what is going on here right now. Three of our major hospitals are full. I mean REALLY full. They are excepting no new patients... including through the emergency rooms. Morton Plant, Largo Medical and Suncoast...all three have had to send their incoming patients to Mease in Dunedin just a little north of here. And I have to tell you... Mortan Plant is a huge hospital (a very good one as well)! We know that things will get back to normal shortly after Easter. After Easter the snow birds go back up north, things will slow down again. By June most of us (we Floridians) will have had at least three varieties of flu bugs. Its the same every year to some degree.

Sigh... I guess it is all part of living in paradise. My appologies to the Florida Council On Tourism... but you know it 's the truth!

Friday, March 11, 2005

The Blog You Were Looking For Was Not Found

AAAHHHHHHH! I am tired of seeing these words when I try to leave a message on a neat post!!! So I am going to post a few of those comments here:

Frustratedwriter--Loved your most recent post re your daughter finding the hole for the bolt while helping you fix her car. Bravo!

Cesca--Never heard about the bean jar before, but since I have been married 34 years, I hope it would be empty by now! ;o)
Woody--That sounds like a great trip! Can't wait to see your pictures... glad you will still be posting. In the meantime I will try to get myself signed up so that I can leave you messages on the site you've set up.
Frally--Enjoyed the Fox News recap of blogland! Funny. Also, your kids may not carry on much conversation now and I know what you are going through... but when they get older and really start talking (they will think intelligently) that's when the real trouble begins! However, I can tell you that it does eventually get better. They do eventually become human and you no longer have to be concerned about their poo.
Carol--Sounds like I may have to look into Haloscan as well.
L--I hope you are feeling better!
Green-Eyed Lady--You were the ONLY blogsite that would let me leave a comment!
Aardvark Al--Where are you?
CG (Carl)--Great post on the butts!
Happy and Blue 2--Please reconsider and come back!
Ron--Hope you enjoy the bird stuff.
So The Fish Said--I want one of those!
Sminklemeyer--I can't even begin to imagine being around some of the things you described! Also, thanks again for recommending "This is Your War"
Red2Alpha--Excellent post again. Keep safe!

Winged Observations

I will be listing bird observations by regions beginning with Minnesota as it is the shortest list and ending with Dunnellon, Florida since it is the longest list. Since I have recently acquired a digital camera, I hope to periodically post pictures of birds I observe.

Here we go!

REGION: Detroit Lakes area of Minnesota

  1. Yellow-headed Blackbird
  2. Commom Loon
  3. Grosbeak (Red Breasted)
  4. Canada Goose
  5. Snow Goose
  6. Cedar Waxwing
  7. Nuthatch (White-breated?)
  8. Black-Capped Chickadee
Also please note: Minnesota has the cutest chipmunks!

REGION: Pinellas County area of Florida ( we get a lot of birds passing through in the winter months in addition to the native year-round varieties)
  1. Robin
  2. Meadowlark (not seen as much these days due to development--used to be common)
  3. Red-Winged Blackbird
  4. Blue Jay
  5. Towhee
  6. Cardinal
  7. Mouring Dove (very dumb birds)
  8. Pidgeons (they're everywhere!)
  9. Mockingbird (VERY feisty birds-Florida State Bird)
  10. Blackbird (Brewers?)
  11. Mallard Duck
  12. Coot
  13. Muscovy Duck (yuk)
  14. Herons (see Dunnellon list)
  15. Wood Stork
  16. Sandhill Crane
  17. Screech Owl
  18. Roseate Spoonbill
  19. Seagulls (Herring, Laughing, others?)
  20. Bald Eagle
  21. Brown Pelican
  22. Least Tern (often referred to as a Skimmer in Florida)
  23. Sandpiper (several variesties)
  24. Osprey (on the increase since nesting sites have been set up for them on power poles)
  25. Sparrows (assorted)
  26. Wrens (assorted)
  27. Northern Flicker
  28. Ruby Throated Hummingbird
  29. Whipoorwill (actually never seen one, but have heard them a lot!)
  30. Common Grackle
  31. Brown Thrasher
  32. Yellow-crowned Night Heron - Just recently identified while kayaking in February in southern Pinellas County salt water-very cool bird and there were lots of them!

REGION: River and meadow--Dunnellon (Citrus County/Marion County) area of Florida

  1. Turkey Vulture
  2. Black Vulture
  3. Kingfisher
  4. Goldfinch
  5. Tufted Titmouse
  6. Carolina Chickadee
  7. Red Bellied Woodpecker
  8. Red Headed Woodpecker (have only seen once)
  9. Ibis (White)
  10. Coot
  11. Gallinule
  12. Limpkin
  13. Cattle Egret
  14. Snowy Egret
  15. Great Blue Heron
  16. Green Heron
  17. Great Egret
  18. Great White Heron
  19. Little Blue Heron
  20. Great Horned Owl
  21. Red Shouldered Hawk
  22. Mottled Duck
  23. Anhinga
  24. Cormorant
  25. Pileated Woodpecker (wow)
  26. Crow
  27. Bullocks Oriole (should not have been there, we think he was lost!)
  28. Bittern (American)
  29. Yellow-bellied Sapsucker
  30. Kite (unsure of variety- Everglades or Swallowtailed)
  31. Wild Turkey
  32. Quail (Bobwhite)
  33. Florida Scrub Jay (only seen once)

Still Coming Soon After I Get A Little Bit Birdbrained

After a bit of frustration with trying to communicate with Ron from The Rat Squeaks regarding our mutual interest in birds, I have decided that I will do a post that consists of the birds that I have identified/observed in Florida and Minnesota. I understand that not everyone will be interested in this, but hopefully they will still read about the Florida bugs. ;O) I am still finishing my post about Florida bugs... Maybe tomorrow? I just haven't been feeling up to being very creative the last few days...but I am getting there...

Anyway, later tonight I will dig out my old bird lists and post them by region. Ron, I hope that at least you will be interested.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

I AM Logical! I Am Relatively Young At Heart! I Am Confused?

You Are Incredibly Logical

(You got 100% of the questions right)

Move over Spock - you're the new master of logic

You think rationally, clearly, and quickly.

A seasoned problem solver, your mind is like a computer!

You Are 34 Years Old


Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

You Are 55% Left Brained, 45% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning.

Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others.

If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic.

Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet.

The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility.

Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way.

If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art.

Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Actually, I think I'm Very Confused!!!


I have finally succumbed to the online quiz addiction!

Monday, March 07, 2005

A Dishwasher Can Be A Place Of Danger

Dishwashers can be very useful. You can wash dishes, glasses and silverware in them. They can heat their own water. They will even sanitize and dry your dishes for you, and if you tend to be lazy you can use them to store your dishes. They can do all sorts of wonderful things these days. However, you might be surprised at some of the things that can be found in a dishwasher on any given day.

I read one post recently where someone was talking about chasing roaches in their dishwasher and being freaked out about it. I live in Florida. Seeing a roach scurrying in the dishwasher is seen as a good reason to shut it up and start it running. No more roach. You can always put it on the sanitizing cycle. Other things that I have discovered in my dishwasher have been lizards, mosquitos, June bugs, and on one occasion a sleeping cat...I told you early on that one of my cats is not very bright. Clothes dryers, dishwashers...Scud just views them as either a place with very good smells to investigate or another convenient place to take a nap. One early morning however, something appeared in my dishwasher that I did not ever expect to find.

It was about 8:00 a.m. on a Friday morning. Maria, the maid had already arrived and with rubber gloves and spray cleaner was attempting to clean the children's bathroom. I was wearing a flannel nightgown that was about 2 sizes too big for me. It had teddy bears all over it. My sister had sent it to me for Christmas, and since I needed to do the laundry I had worn it to bed the night before. It is needless to say that my husband was NOT fond of this nightgown. So here we were.

I walked from the livingroom into the kitchen towards the dishwasher and let out a very loud scream. Now, I am NOT a screamer. Maria knew this, so she came running, rubber gloves and spray cleaner in hand. Leaping at me out of my dishwasher was a snake! He (or she) was not at all happy about being caught out in the open. Maria, also not a screamer, and expecting something worse, only let out a gasp. OK, now to be fair, I am not exactly a morning person. Seeing a snake leaping out of my dishwasher at that hour of the morning was just a little bit beyond me!

Having a cooler head than I, Maria (who IS a morning person) quickly took charge. (I don't know, maybe she had had this experience before) She immediately raised her rubber-gloved hand, aimed her spray cleaner and sprayed the snake in its face. It was not happy about this. It decided to try to return to the depths of the dishwasher. Maria would have none of that! She grabbed the last of the retreating snake by the end of its tail and yelled for me to open the front door. Who was I to argue? Maria with the snake in her rubber gloved hand went running out the front door. One would hope that that would be the end of the story... you know, she would throw that snake out the door and that would be it. No such luck.

Maria sprinted out the front door, snake in hand. Just as she was revving up to toss the snake, her foot came down on the tile on the front porch, still covered with morning dew, and slid forward...as did the other foot. In fact, Maria went flying up into the air and came down on her backside which just missed hitting the sharp corner of the front porch. She did scream this time and I gasped. She started shreeking something about the snake, and I kept asking her if she was okay.

Eventually I realized that she thought that she was sitting ON the snake and had no idea of her close call with the tile porch. I was seeing a trip to the emergency room and dollar signs associated with law suits and she was worried about being bitten on the butt by the snake. Eventually I realized she seemed okay and she spotted the snake making a path for the front door to re-enter the house.

The next few moments are a bit hazy to me now, but somehow I ended up with hoe trying to cut the snake up...which of course didn't work. I then had a very heavy axe-sledge hammer combo which I think my youngest son brought to me (probably after me yelling for him to get me something to kill the snake). I had managed to pin the snake down in the grass with the hoe, so once the axe-thingy arrived, I had Maria hold the hoe, and I started to viciously attack the snake.

OK, now you have got to picture this. Maria, with rubber gloves is holding the hoe so that the blade is pressing the snake down into the grass. I am wearing this adorable oversized flannel nightgown with teddybears and am raising the axe-thingy and pounding it down on top of the snake. At this very moment an old man out for his morning walk came ambling down the street in front of our house. Now he saw us, probably couldn't see the snake which was pushed down into the grass, and didn't know whether to pretend that he was not seeing anything at all, or thought that some lunatics were trying some new method of weed removal. I looked up and smiled and went back to my pounding and he kept walking. He did have a strange look on his face. I am sure that I never saw him again. He probably chose another route for his morning walk after that.

Well, the snake was apparently dead. Maria and I were laughing hysterically at this point, and I think my children were hiding in the house. I became aware that I was still standing in the front yard with my nightgown on and ushered Maria and I into the house. I made sure that she was okay and told her to let me know if she had any side effects from her wild ride. She decided to finish early that day. I took a shower and got dressed.

Later that night when my husband got home I told him about the horrific incident. He went outside to see what the demonic creature looked like that had been lurking in our dishwasher. He came back in laughing. It seems that when not in the heat of the moment, so to speak, the snake was actually not that big. He had imagined something at least 5 feet from my description of what we had to do to kill the thing. WELL, it WAS 8:00 in the morning!

Where Have I Been?

bold the states you've been to, underline the states you've lived in and italicize the state you're in now...

Alabama / Alaska / Arizona / Arkansas / California / Colorado / Connecticut / Delaware / Florida / Georgia / Hawaii / Idaho / Illinois / Indiana / Iowa / Kansas / Kentucky / Louisiana / Maine / Maryland / Massachusetts / Michigan / Minnesota / Mississippi / Missouri / Montana / Nebraska / Nevada / New Hampshire / New Jersey / New Mexico / New York / North Carolina / North Dakota / Ohio / Oklahoma / Oregon / Pennsylvania / Rhode Island / South Carolina / South Dakota / Tennessee / Texas / Utah / Vermont / Virginia / Washington / West Virginia / Wisconsin / Wyoming / Washington D.C /

Go HERE to have a form generate the HTML for you.

Got this from "Smiles and Laughter" -- http://smilesandlaughter.blogspot.com

Friday, March 04, 2005

An Interview With The Infamous "L"

This interview is with "L" from Random_Speak.

To get this interview started, I though I would start with some basic background information. Are you ready?

You have said that you are a "thirty-something single female." Let's hear something about you that we don't know. Give us a brief physical description of yourself. Please be truthful.
I am incredibly charming and adorable, except when I'm not. If you squint a bit, I may actually resemble a vaguely nerdy Audrey Hepburn. I like to dress up, especially if dressing up involves a large hat.

How many siblings do you have? Tell us something about them.
I have five siblings if you count the cats. They're all odd except me. Also, they're all much more amusing than I--I'm the shy one.

You live in Florida. Do you like Florida or would you rather live elsewhere. If so, where?
I have a love-hate relationship with Florida; it doesn't have much "culture," but it seems to make up for that in it's sheer amount of weirdness. I may move somewhere else, but I don't know where... perhaps to New Mexico; it seems that all the artists are moving to New Mexico these days.

What is you highest level of education?

What are the nationalities of your ancestors?
Heinz 57--but mostly French, Italian, English, and Danish, I think.

(Well don't forget about your Irish, Norwegian, and German genes!)

What was it like growing up in your family?
Ha ha ha... odd but fun. Sort of like playing with Silly Putty, but then it gets stuck in the carpet sometimes, too.

Besides posting to your blog, what do you like to do for fun?
I like to read, paint, watch kung fu movies, eat yummy food with friends, collect books, go to dinner parties, shop for antiques, travel... I don't know... why do you keep asking me these questions? You sound like my mother.

How would you describe your political positioning?
My political positioning? Hmmm... liberal on most things, slightly conservative on a few others.

Do you consider yourself a religious person?
No, but you love me anyway. :)

What is your idea of a great vacation spot?
Italy or England, although some of my fellow bloggers are making New Zealand sound very fun.

When you go to the grocery store, do you prefer your groceries bagged in plastic or paper, and why?
I prefer plastic, so I can take up space in landfills and pollute the environment. I also prefer paper, so I can kill as many trees as possible.

If you could bring back any person in history, who would it be and why?
Gregory Peck 'cause he was HOT! Oh, wait, he's not dead yet, is he? Hmmm... maybe Henry Miller because he was such an incredible writer, even though he was a complete misogynist. Or maybe Mozart, because one of the most beautiful pieces of music I have ever heard is a song from The Marriage of Figaro.

Do you have any interesting relatives? You know, any characters or exceptional persons?
They're ALL interesting. I have a great aunt who was a missionary with the Jivaro (head hunters) in Ecuador for many years... I also have a very fun uncle who used to be a priest but has now come out of the closet and occasionally practices hypnotism professionally... I also have a very cool aunt who lives on a boat in Key West, laughs like a pirate, and owns a chihuahua named Olivia. My grandmother has traveled all over to places like Haiti, Kenya and China and once helped write a book about ants... there's more, but my fingers will fall off from typing.

What one thing would you like to do before you die?
I'd like to write a book, I suppose--perhaps a demented sort of children's book about boogers or nightmares or something.

Do you drink 8 cups of water each day?
8 cups of water?! as if! I don't really do a lot of the things I'm supposed to.

What is the most interesting job you have had?
The current one--database administrator.

What is your favorite cuisine?
Asian (mainly sushi), but I also like French.

What is your favorite color?
Red is my favorite color.

As a child, what was your favorite story or book?
"Be Nice to Spiders" was my favorite book when I was very young.

If you could choose, what animal would you be?
Being a snowy owl or hawk sounds interesting.

Who is your favorite cartoon character?
Favorite cartoon character? Bugs Bunny, handsdown.

What is your favorite post that you have put on your blog?
Favorite post? Hmmm... either my Defective Fortune Cookies post or my post on How to Start Your Very Own Cult.

What is the most interesting date you have experienced?
January 30, 1973, the date I was born.

Tell us about your favorite artist, musician, author?
I don't have a favorite artist; I have several: Klimt, Chagall, Guaguin, Picasso, Michelangelo, blah, blah, blah. Same with authors (can't choose); a few favorites are Thomas Hardy, Luis Borges, Milorad Pavic, Doystoyevsky, Hunter S. Thompson, P. G. Wodehouse, blah, blah, blah. Musician? Agh, my head hurts now!

What is the most important thing you learned in kindergarten?
There are several things that I learned in kindergarten:

  • B is used to spell Mrs. B has Bright Buttons,
  • T is used to spell Mr. T with the Tall Teeth,
  • if you have a loose tooth make sure not to sneeze while the class is watching a Letter People movie or it will fly out of your mouth and you won't be able to find it because the lights will be out.
  • paste doesn't taste that bad and will do in a pinch if there's no food around.

Anything else you want to tell us about?
Well, I'm a bit cranky right now; otherwise my answers would probably be incredibly insightful and intelligent. Also, I can wiggle my ears. the end :)

Thank you L. You have been very cooperative for such a cranky person.
(By the way... that should be Mrs. B has Beautiful Buttons. Guess you are getting old as well as cranky!)

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Coming Soon...

A Dishwasher Can Be a Dangerous Place

Florida Bugs To Fear

An Interview With The Infamous "L"