Sunday, January 15, 2006


Stuff. Yup. Stuff. We all have it. We all want it.

It is both a blessing and a burden.

It starts when we are young. We want cool stuff. We ask our parents to give us that cool stuff. We get the stuff, or at least enough stuff to leave us wanting more stuff. We even get things to carry our stuff around and things to keep our stuff in order.

When we are young adults we want even more stuff. Now we work for our stuff. The more stuff we get the more stuff we want. We start to keep track of our stuff. We never have enough stuff.

As we get older, maybe we get married. Then we really get a lot of stuff. Still this does not satisfy us. Now we know we really need more stuff. We have to get a bigger place to live to keep all of our stuff with us. The place we get has extra room, so we get more stuff to fill the empty space. Then maybe we have children, and we have to get stuff for them, too.

And now we have to do more to keep track of our stuff. We worry about losing our stuff. So we document our stuff and take out insurance on our stuff. Our kids start to demand more stuff of their own. And because we know how important stuff is in everyone's life, we get them more stuff. And we increase our insurance to cover their stuff, too.

Now a new phenomenon starts to creep into our lives...

We start to feel that we need to get away from it all... all our stuff. So now we take vacations from our stuff. We take our children with us. They spend most of the vacation bemoaning the fact they want to get back to the stuff that they have left at home.

Then one day, the kids leave home, and we look around and discover that we have too much stuff. We need to downsize and get rid of stuff that we don't need anymore. We have garage or yard sales and sell our stuff to unsuspecting people who are still in the mode of acquiring more stuff. Then we take the money we make at the sale and decide that now that we have gotten rid of some stuff, we can now buy more stuff. And we do.

And so it goes. We get rid of old stuff, and replace it with newer and better stuff. We do this and do this, until one day we are too old to do it any more. Then our children have to do it for us. Maybe they move us to a retirement home. Our stuff gets redistributed. Now our children buy us things that they think we need or would enjoy. But it is stuff that doesn't take up much room.

Yup. We all have stuff.

Now, in my case...

irreconcilable differences have put a kink in this life plan of acquisition and disposition of stuff.

Since we are getting a divorce, I have to inventory all of our stuff and finances. I then have to fill out forms that requires all of this information. I also have to pay a lot of money for the privilege of doing this.

Then at some point, someone will look at all of this information on the forms that have been filled out and will use some sort of formula to decide how much of the stuff I get to keep and how much money I will get to help me take care of my portion of said stuff. And then I get to pay some more money so that all of this gets recorded and becomes a legal document. I then will get to add this document to my stash of stuff... a smaller stash than I had before.

I will keep you posted on what happens next. Will I get to acquire more stuff? Will a reduced income greatly impact my acquisition phase? Will my children keep me in new cool stuff as I get older. Will I rejoice in my new freedom from excessive stuff? Will I finally get all of my closets cleaned once and for all?

I suspect that not only does life go on... but stuff goes on as well.


Jim said...

Hi Rhodent

It looks like your computer got fixed or you have a new one. Some new critters too?

You hit the nail pretty well on the head today. I might borrow your topic sometime.

At least three times I have been loosened of my stuff. This was because of a divorce once, then a burglary got the good stuff I got after the divorce, and finally because thirty-three inches of water flooded our home.

There wasn't insurance for these times but I got more stuff all over again. Some was given to me.

I'm betting on you getting more stuff. You can pick your own this time.

Get what you like because you might remarry. I did. I don't necessarily get to pick my own after that.

Rurality said...

Hi Rho, I was afraid that's what the earlier posts meant. Hope it goes ok for you. It's never fun I suppose - mine wasn't. Sending you a bunch of hugs.

Hope you can keep all the stuff you really like, and have fun getting new stuff later on.

I think it was George Carlin who said, "You can't have it all... Where would you put it?!"

Cliff Morrow said...

Wow. This is a great post and left me with a lot of different feelings. You are right, there have been a lot of kids who have stood in the middle of an estate house and said, "what are we going to do with all of this stuff"?
I really feel for you and yours. I suppose someday all will be better. Time will help. I'm sure parts of your life have improved already. I don't envy your use of an attorney. They can be so maddening and SLOW. Good luck rhodent. I'm pulling for you. I can testify that you're a character if you need a character witness.

happyandblue2 said...

Hope you get to keep all the good stuff..

frustratedwriter said...

I was also afraid that your earlier referrals meant divorce. I can feel some of your pain as my marriage of 26 years will be officially filed on within the week. Ours had been building for 20+ years and we are both relieved now that it has been decided upon.

I know your great kids will surround you and keep you safe, maybe even keep you in the good stuff - which has nothing to do with physical items.

Rachel said...

Glad you got the computer fixed! WE missed you! I know what you mean about stuff. We do tend to gather it in!

Hope all goes well for you! As long as things are peaceful it probably won't be too bad. I think the bitter/hate divorces are the worse thing.

Green-Eyed Lady(GEL) said...

I'm reading this a while afterwards catching up on your blog. You're a strong person. This post tugs at my heart with so many facets to it. When you named him "himself" that immediately struck me as selfish-sounding, but I identified with much of the tug of wars for cleaning out the house and the compromising. I think we all can relate when we live with someone as a roommate or a spouse. I kept reading those cleaning out posts and I commented too much (sorry) because I wanted to reach through the screen to magically give you the caring that I didn't read about ever in reference to your husband, but did read of so much love for your kids and vice versa.

I hoped it was a phase/stage marriages can go through, for I also don't talk much of my husband because my blog is my needed alone space. I'm also wishing you a smoooth new start. Take care