Monday, May 29, 2006

It's Time!

I began this post on Saturday with the intention of finishing it up tonight. Little did I know then how apropos it would turn out to be at the end of this holiday weekend! What I anticipated as being a rather tiresome weekend turned out to be a really shitty weekend. Way too much drama.

We celebrated the two birthdays that take place every year over this holiday weekend. My friend Lori turned 30 and my daughter Allison turned 22. Lori got an exquisite diamond necklace and a very sweet card from her adoring husband... which was probably the highlight of the weekend. We also celebrated the completion of my son Matt's Masters Degree in computer engineering. He is now off to Virginia to work for Lockheed Martin. I guess I won't see him again until I can get a chance to go up there for a visit.

I had two hours to think on my way home from the weekend and came to some conclusions about my life...
  • Typically the people you should be able to trust the most are the ones that are the most likely to betray that trust
  • The only person that you can really trust in this life is yourself... because when the chips are down, you are the one that has to pull things back together... no one else is going to help you
  • Too many people in this world think of themselves first and you can't change that
  • People who have made a habit of lying will continue to do so
  • Any faults or imperfections that you have will be routinely pointed out to you
  • Families can be close or they can be scattered, but neither has any relevance to how they treat each other
  • People who say they love each other do mistreat each other
Sounds pretty dreary, I know, but that is the way it is. Mostly, at the end of this weekend, I am more determined than ever to never again be a cross between a doormat and a punching bag. I am not going to be overly concerned about saying what I really think. I will stand up for myself, and I don't give a

who doesn't like it. I have had too many years of being humiliated by my husband and other family members, and betrayed by friends. I have just been too stupid and naive for my own good.

I have decided that men will not corner the market on going through second childhoods. I think that it is about time for me to let loose a bit. My kids are raised and grown, I am unattached and I intend to do some things that I have not had the chance to do before. Now admit it... it sounds like a great plan, doesn't it!?!?

Sometime soon I will be in my own place and on my own. I think it will be a relief. I know it will be a relief. I can get on an airplane and go someplace without having to get permission or listen to how it costs too much money. I can eat what I want, when I want, and where I want. If I want to splurge on something, it will be my choice and my money. I will probably do some really stupid but fun things. I think that I need to do some of this to finally grow up. Yup, it's time.


happy and blue 2 said...

Happy Birthday to your daughter Allison and your friend Lori. And congratulations to your son Matt on obtaining his Masters Degree..
We really only control and live our own life. So enjoy yours..

Nyx said...

I love that line: Men will not corner the market on going through second childhoods.

Your plan sounds like a good one and I wish you all the best for your next childhood. Enjoy because you deserve it.

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

Good luck Rodent...I see you finally see the light or have woken up to reality. Good for you! It's time for Rodent.

Jim said...

I'm with Abandoned today, its time for Rhodent.
A guy would get some nice toys, girls go shopping? No, I take that back, it's your choice.
Oh yes, I get a $214 retirement check from Lockheed every month. Might Matt ever get transfered to Houston?

Rainypete said...

Look out world here comes rhodent!! You're ready, but is everyone else? (and if they aren't that's their problem)

Ron Southern said...

Hey, you be careful about that Rat's Ass business!

Alisa said...

I can tell you this... there are some definite perks to not having to live with anyone else and I think you highlighted most of them!

On the weekends, you can do the activities that YOU want to do :)

If a friend is having a smash, you don't have to say "well let me make sure I don't have plans" because you are in charge of your plans. (and, while at the smash, you can stay as short as you want or as long as you want!)

If you want to sleep in, you can! If you want to get up in the wee hours, you can!

When you want to take a shower, no one is in there hogging (or leaving their mess in) the bathroom!

Grocery shopping is exquisite.... you can go to the store as often as you like or as little as you like and get things only you want :)

(the list is endless!)

Have fun doing what you want to do and being who you want to be!

Happy and Blue 2 said...

Are you out doing what you want to do yet?
Careful not to catch a chill. Or get heat stroke. Take your vitamins. Eat properly. Exercise. Get lots of rest.
Check in on your blog daily. Have fun, but call us if you are planning on being late. Don't talk to strangers. And if some guy in a car offers you candy run like the wind to a police man. Policemen are your friends.

Oh, and L put up a bunch of pictures on her site and you are in one of them.
You are the cutest one of all. But don't tell also cute L..

Rachel said...

I say Hoorah for you!! You go girl!! Enjoy life!! You can do what you want, like you said, and I say go for it!!

L said...

sounds like a great idea to me!


Cliff Morrow said...

Well Rhodent, I'm sorry for all that has turned sour and can sure appreciate how painful all of these lessons have been. You are very correct to begin again. With gusto. You go girl.

Green-Eyed Lady(GEL) said...

I'm joining the Rhodent cheering section. You sound strong and determined. Yes! Yes! Yes! Life is an adventure. Go for it. (and check your email when you have time... :D)

Frustrated Writer said...

you go rho! I'll join the cheering section.