It's Time!

I began this post on Saturday with the intention of finishing it up tonight. Little did I know then how apropos it would turn out to be at the end of this holiday weekend! What I anticipated as being a rather tiresome weekend turned out to be a really shitty weekend. Way too much drama.

We celebrated the two birthdays that take place every year over this holiday weekend. My friend Lori turned 30 and my daughter Allison turned 22. Lori got an exquisite diamond necklace and a very sweet card from her adoring husband... which was probably the highlight of the weekend. We also celebrated the completion of my son Matt's Masters Degree in computer engineering. He is now off to Virginia to work for Lockheed Martin. I guess I won't see him again until I can get a chance to go up there for a visit.

I had two hours to think on my way home from the weekend and came to some conclusions about my life...

• Typically the people you should be able to trust the most are the ones that are the most likely to betray that trust
• The only person that you can really trust in this life is yourself... because when the chips are down, you are the one that has to pull things back together... no one else is going to help you
• Too many people in this world think of themselves first and you can't change that
• People who have made a habit of lying will continue to do so
• Any faults or imperfections that you have will be routinely pointed out to you
• Families can be close or they can be scattered, but neither has any relevance to how they treat each other
  
• People who say they love each other do mistreat each other

Sounds pretty dreary, I know, but that is the way it is. Mostly, at the end of this weekend, I am more determined than ever to never again be a cross between a doormat and a punching bag. I am not going to be overly concerned about saying what I really think. I will stand up for myself, and I don't give a

who doesn't like it. I have had too many years of being humiliated by my husband and other family members, and betrayed by friends. I have just been too stupid and naive for my own good.

I have decided that men will not corner the market on going through second childhoods. I think that it is about time for me to let loose a bit. My kids are raised and grown, I am unattached and I intend to do some things that I have not had the chance to do before. Now admit it... it sounds like a great plan, doesn't it!?!?

Sometime soon I will be in my own place and on my own. I think it will be a relief. I know it will be a relief. I can get on an airplane and go someplace without having to get permission or listen to how it costs too much money. I can eat what I want, when I want, and where I want. If I want to splurge on something, it will be my choice and my money. I will probably do some really stupid but fun things. I think that I need to do some of this to finally grow up. Yup, it's time.